DEAPP: GRIM SCHWARZ

With the post-war optimism, Victor Schwarz was born on 5th of September, 1923 in Salzburg, Austria. He was the youngest of 5, until his youngest sister was born a year after his birth. His father was a merchant and with the ending of WWI and stabilising of Austria’s economy, they managed to make a living off it. The Schwarz’s children were all taught by their neighbours, who were Jewish teachers, including Victor himself. However, it wasn't long before the economy experienced an abrupt crash from the onset of the Great Depression. It took away their sole income and his father resorted to mining while his mother took up dress seaming to feed the family as well. It was a dark time, and with both parents away, the siblings had to take care of the household by themselves. Unfortunately, a collapsing mine took his father’s life. His mother followed shortly after due to over exhaustion of her frail body from working around the clock in order to feed the family. The family was never the same after.

Victor’s life took a major turn when Austria was incorporated into the Third Reich, and his older brothers were forcefully recruited in Wehrmacht in 1935. They couldn't sympathise with the act of vanquishing the Jews that stemmed simply due to a supposed superiority. Initially, they were strongly in opposition, but anguishly kept their silence when their oldest brother was killed as a way to instil fear to the others. On the surface, his second brother was silently following orders, but deep down, he adamantly refused to conform to the totalitarian state. Meanwhile, Arthur, his 3rd brother, had completely been brainwashed and served the Nazis loyally. Nothing was heard from him after his drafting. Shortly after, Victor's younger sister, Ilse, died from malaria at the age of 13 due to poor hygiene during war times. As terrible as it sounds, her passing relieved his elder sister and his burden to support themselves. It caused severe stress and breakdown on Victor’s part because he was always so close and protective of her. He succumbed to multiple vices like smoking and gambling in order to detach himself from the hellish reality for a few years before pulling himself together. It was also Ilse's naive dying wish that he could save the others, especially the innocent Jews that were being hunted down, to which, he chose to fulfil. He lived his next year learning how to do basic first aid from his elder sister, who worked as a nurse to aid the injured Nazi soldiers, and he gave refuge to numerous Jews. Escaping became a part of his life, as he was wanted for succouring the Jews. He learnt to disguise as the soldiers themselves as well on multiple occasions. Having lived in a war period, Victor abhorred the sound of guns that rang through his life. Unfortunately, due to his lack of endurance and stamina, he was promptly eliminated during one of the raids 7 months later. Guns are always faster than knives like they said.

Grim wishes that he remembered how he died but nothing comes to his mind. Perhaps it had been too long for him and he no longer bothers with it. His attitude towards his new-found job was nothing more than an obligation; it did not truly bring him joy nor sorrow. It just came by… like a job. He did remember his first job; which was to cut off an infant’s breath. Cruel, huh? His hands shivered but his determination was unwavering. The feeling of another life ending was familiar. He can’t remember. He cried for the first time, and never stopped ever since. Despite that, feelings are no longer attached to those tears. He felt that he no longer belonged with humans, literally, not in an arrogant manner. Others ask why he still tears with every order completion, his response?

“Emotions are the only human thing I have left.”